Why Does Coaching Work?

by Andrew on September 1, 2010

clockworkIf you’re like me, at least a little bit, you want to know why stuff works. I’ve a long history of pulling things apart to see what makes them tick. It’s just something I need to do. I can appreciate magic but I can’t help thinking of an explanation for the effect. Perhaps you do too.

That’s why I was initially a bit sceptical about coaching. I know there are lots of great true-to-life examples of coaching success, especially from the sports world. Which great Olympian doesn’t have a coach? And team sports just wouldn’t be the same or, perhaps exist, without the Coach alongside the players. So why the hesitation?

I just had to have a framework, some foundation, to understand why a coach isn’t simply an expensive nag. Well I found it when I started to explore the neuroscience-based approach taken by David Rock. He’s built on relatively recent discoveries about how our brains actually work to construct a coaching model and process that takes advantage of our innate behaviour to instill new thoughts and habits without undue pain and stress.

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Looking Back, Looking Ahead

by sue on December 20, 2007

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As the last page of the calendar streaks by with alarming speed, let’s grab a few minutes to check the rear view mirror and invest some precious time to assess where we (and our organizations) have been.  Noticing what we’ve achieved in the past 12 months is an excellent way to launch the plans we make for the new year.

With our eyes firmly fixed on where we’re headed, we often forget to celebrate or even notice what we’ve already accomplished. As a coach, I often ask clients to catch themselves doing something well and stop to savour the moment. I can, sometimes, forget to take my own advice.

Last week, I made time to do that, as I joined with a friend and fellow solopreneur to refine our business plans and set action priorities for 2008. Our first activity was to make a note of what we’d each achieved. At her suggestion, we also listed the names of people who had helped us get there.

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Yes, It’s OK To Say “No!” Revisited

by sue on September 26, 2007

Exhausted
Once upon a time, I was an over-committed community volunteer headed for burnout.  Things were bad.  I felt angry and resentful. Any joy I had ever found in giving my time to charitable organizations I admired was long gone.

I dropped all activities but one (my professional association) and learned how to put boundaries around my giving. And I wrote about my learning in an article called Yes, It’s OK To Say “No!” I regularly get requests from publishers and other coaches and consultants for permission to use it in their work.

Today, I had a reason to revisit the article.  I received an e-mail from someone we’ll call “Lori,” who finds that the newsletter she’s producing for a volunteer organization is taking twice as long to do as she was led to expect.  She was looking for advice.  She wrote: “I’m inclined to keep my word and trudge on, but this last month’s issue took away from my family and job responsibilities. If I say no and stop doing the
newsletter, does this set a bad example for my kids, telling them it’s OK to quit after I’ve committed to something? ” It was this concern about what sort of lessons we teach through our behaviours that touched me the most.

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Who are you?

by sue on August 17, 2007

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For the past few weeks, I’ve been dancing around with an idea presented by my friend Donna Karlin, the Shadow Coach and founder of A Better Perspective. The idea sits in front of my nose in 36-point type.

“People become who they might be when they let go of who they are.”

In my own struggle to let go, my heart leaps and pirouettes with vivid energy, excited by the possibility of discovering and becoming who I might be. My head takes steps rehearsed and perfected through decades of practice
designed to keep me as I am. I promise you, this dance is not a sexy tango; it’s more like a barroom brawl.

Brain scientists suggest the desire to change, however sincere or necessary, collides with the human brain’s natural aversion to change. That ancient “fight or flight” mechanism takes over when events, feelings or thoughts don’t match the old patterns. That primitive part of our brain interprets this as “danger” and renders us temporarily incapable of rational thought. It fills our head with worry, anxiety and other nonsense and our bodies with cortisol, adrenaline and who knows what other forms of crap and corruption. So we don’t change.

Two years ago, I thought I had changed forever and for good, for once and for all. I was invited to contribute a chapter to a book about women and power. In writing it, I determined that I had found my real self and was, henceforth, going to be that. My chapter, posted here, Objects In Mirror Are Closer Than They Appear, describes the emergence of Susanna, my bolder, greater, less inhibited alter ego. She is the creature I was meant to be. It’s a good story. It aims to help others discover their own inner Susanna, and I occasionally hear from people who’ve been touched by it or inspired to find their own true selves.

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Try? There is no Try!

by sue on February 16, 2007

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Many of you will know that I am in the throes of authoring a book about workplace communication.  You may not know that I’m trying to complete it by the end of February, just 13 short days and nights from this moment.

Talk To Me – Workplace Conversations That Work, blends fiction and nonfiction, weaving a story around and through the communication ideas to put them in a ‘real world’ context. It’s a book with an accompanying learning program and a slew of downloadable recordings and worksheets to support it. Mercifully, these extra bits are not due by month’s end.

This morning, as I was trying to write one of five chapters required this week, I interrupted myself to coach a young entrepreneur of unusual talent. Today was not her best day. She acknowledged that she’s trying to be a certain way. And she’ll try to think bigger. And she’ll try to put some ideas together. And she’ll try to do something about it.

And all of a sudden, I could hear the great Jedi guru, Yoda, screaming at me, at her, and at the world, just as he screamed at Luke Skywalker. “Try? There is no Try! There is only Do and Not Do.”

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Eclectic and Enigmatic – the Women’s Show

by sue on March 20, 2006

"So how was the Women’s Show?" curious friends asked me. "Well," was my cautious answer, "I’m not sure what to make of it."

Talk about life!
It was fun.  No question there.  Very little lights me up more than talking to people about their lives and their work.  Women of all ages stopped by to pick up a fortune cookie and laugh at my bad joke: "Your fortunes improve when you work with a coach!" (Just because it’s true, doesn’t make it any less corny.)

WheelMany who stopped by agreed to do the "Life Wheel," sharing how satisfied they are with eight major dimensions of life. The result of that conversation is a  "snapshot" of their situation and, often, some insight about  where they might want to do some work.  "It’s not that I didn’t sense this," said one of our booth visitors, "But I didn’t really see how out of balance things are."

Mini Trends
I noticed some patterns that weren’t surprising.

Many of the people who reported that they aren’t having much fun in life also report concerns about their health. And vice versa. That mind/body connection is clearly at work.

There seemed to be a similar relationship between satisfaction with one’s financial situation and the personal growth dimension. Those who are yearning for more of one, tend also to be yearning for more of the other.

The people visiting the show on Saturday were more likely to rate their satisfaction with career as a 7 or 8 out of a possible 10.  The Sunday folk tended, on average, to be around 5.  Theories anyone?  Perhaps people who just jump in and do things, whether it’s work or play, just have a better time.

The other interesting thing was that some of the people who visited the booth actually knew what life and business coaching is and wanted to come and talk about it.  (It didn’t hurt that the business section of the Saturday newspaper featured an article on how coaching isn’t just for executives anymore. )

Theme: More of everything
As for the rest of the show, anyone looking for a pattern was left confused.  Booths around us included local colleges, the police department, cosmetics of all sorts, belly dancing, armed forces recruiting, fitness clubs, chiropractors, sewing machines, handbags, aromatherapy, mutual funds, real estate – in a word, "eclectic."  The only conclusion I drew is that women are interested in everything – like that’s news to anyone? 

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