by Susan Johnston | Aug 17, 2007 | Uncategorized |
For the past few weeks, I’ve been dancing around with an idea presented by my friend Donna Karlin, the Shadow Coach and founder of A Better Perspective. The idea sits in front of my nose in 36-point type.
“People become who they might be when they let go of who they are.”
In my own struggle to let go, my heart leaps and pirouettes with vivid energy, excited by the possibility of discovering and becoming who I might be. My head takes steps rehearsed and perfected through decades of practice
designed to keep me as I am. I promise you, this dance is not a sexy tango; it’s more like a barroom brawl.
Brain scientists suggest the desire to change, however sincere or necessary, collides with the human brain’s natural aversion to change. That ancient “fight or flight” mechanism takes over when events, feelings or thoughts don’t match the old patterns. That primitive part of our brain interprets this as “danger” and renders us temporarily incapable of rational thought. It fills our head with worry, anxiety and other nonsense and our bodies with cortisol, adrenaline and who knows what other forms of crap and corruption. So we don’t change.
Two years ago, I thought I had changed forever and for good, for once and for all. I was invited to contribute a chapter to a book about women and power. In writing it, I determined that I had found my real self and was, henceforth, going to be that. My chapter, posted here, Objects In Mirror Are Closer Than They Appear, describes the emergence of Susanna, my bolder, greater, less inhibited alter ego. She is the creature I was meant to be. It’s a good story. It aims to help others discover their own inner Susanna, and I occasionally hear from people who’ve been touched by it or inspired to find their own true selves.
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by Susan Johnston | Aug 15, 2007 | Uncategorized |
How do you capture the essence of a real person on paper? That was a client’s question, this week. He’d been asked to write a testimonial letter for someone he likes and respects and wanted to know if there’s a format for such things.
I’d never seen a formula, though I’ve written scads of these things for employees and colleagues applying for jobs, school admission or nonprofit board positions. Since some sort of structure helps almost anyone write almost anything, I documented a process for my young client – and for you – in the following eight steps.
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by Susan Johnston | Feb 16, 2007 | Uncategorized |
Many of you will know that I am in the throes of authoring a book about workplace communication. You may not know that I’m trying to complete it by the end of February, just 13 short days and nights from this moment.
Talk To Me – Workplace Conversations That Work, blends fiction and nonfiction, weaving a story around and through the communication ideas to put them in a ‘real world’ context. It’s a book with an accompanying learning program and a slew of downloadable recordings and worksheets to support it. Mercifully, these extra bits are not due by month’s end.
This morning, as I was trying to write one of five chapters required this week, I interrupted myself to coach a young entrepreneur of unusual talent. Today was not her best day. She acknowledged that she’s trying to be a certain way. And she’ll try to think bigger. And she’ll try to put some ideas together. And she’ll try to do something about it.
And all of a sudden, I could hear the great Jedi guru, Yoda, screaming at me, at her, and at the world, just as he screamed at Luke Skywalker. “Try? There is no Try! There is only Do and Not Do.”
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by Susan Johnston | Oct 21, 2006 | Uncategorized |
Call anytime, but it’s better to send e-mail – Yesterday, while I sat on hold long enough to tidy my entire office, the recorded greeting told me that my bank has extended its call centre support service by two hours. Nevertheless, the recording went on to suggest sending them an e-mail for faster service. The irony is that the purpose of my call was to clarify something about online banking. Hmmm.
A friend is using the time she spends on hold to write a book – I imagine there is a statistic, somewhere, revealing that the average North American spends 1.5 months of his/her life on hold.
Would you like fries with that? – Another friend revealed today that while he was waiting for service at a technology site, the system offered him the option of waiting with or without music. I guess they didn’t read the 2002 study by France’s Université de Rennes showing that callers listening to music while on hold underestimate the length of time they’ve been waiting. Next we’ll have a choice of musical styles. But will we ever reach a human being?
Poison IVR – Broadcaster/podcaster Jeff Hoyt has some interesting thoughts on yesterday’s subject of interactive voice response systems that seem to be keeping customers separated from customer service reps. You’ll find his entertaining “Voice Jail” recording at www.hoytus.com/?p=21
by Susan Johnston | Mar 20, 2006 | Uncategorized |
"So how was the Women’s Show?" curious friends asked me. "Well," was my cautious answer, "I’m not sure what to make of it."
Talk about life!
It was fun. No question there. Very little lights me up more than talking to people about their lives and their work. Women of all ages stopped by to pick up a fortune cookie and laugh at my bad joke: "Your fortunes improve when you work with a coach!" (Just because it’s true, doesn’t make it any less corny.)
Many who stopped by agreed to do the "Life Wheel," sharing how satisfied they are with eight major dimensions of life. The result of that conversation is a "snapshot" of their situation and, often, some insight about where they might want to do some work. "It’s not that I didn’t sense this," said one of our booth visitors, "But I didn’t really see how out of balance things are."
Mini Trends
I noticed some patterns that weren’t surprising.
Many of the people who reported that they aren’t having much fun in life also report concerns about their health. And vice versa. That mind/body connection is clearly at work.
There seemed to be a similar relationship between satisfaction with one’s financial situation and the personal growth dimension. Those who are yearning for more of one, tend also to be yearning for more of the other.
The people visiting the show on Saturday were more likely to rate their satisfaction with career as a 7 or 8 out of a possible 10. The Sunday folk tended, on average, to be around 5. Theories anyone? Perhaps people who just jump in and do things, whether it’s work or play, just have a better time.
The other interesting thing was that some of the people who visited the booth actually knew what life and business coaching is and wanted to come and talk about it. (It didn’t hurt that the business section of the Saturday newspaper featured an article on how coaching isn’t just for executives anymore. )
Theme: More of everything
As for the rest of the show, anyone looking for a pattern was left confused. Booths around us included local colleges, the police department, cosmetics of all sorts, belly dancing, armed forces recruiting, fitness clubs, chiropractors, sewing machines, handbags, aromatherapy, mutual funds, real estate – in a word, "eclectic." The only conclusion I drew is that women are interested in everything – like that’s news to anyone?
by Susan Johnston | Aug 28, 2005 | Uncategorized |
Once upon a time, I was a television reviewer for a daily newspaper. I was given this gig because I’d spent several years in TV news and, presumably, knew something about the medium. I had a daily column and several large pages a week to fill as I saw fit.
Networks sent me videos to enjoy, commercial-free, in the comfort of the newsroom. (If you’ve seen a newsroom, you’ll know that’s hardly "comfort," but that’s another story.) I got to interview stars and star wannabes. I actually touched Miss Piggy. I got to write cheeky columns about beauty pageants and awards shows, and thoughtful pieces about good programming and the people who create it.
In those days, I lived and breathed TV. Now I don’t even own one. And I don’t miss it at all.
I’d love to say I’m living this way for scientific research or my PhD thesis, but my tube-less status is purely accidental. Our old Sony wasn’t worth dragging on an international move and I just haven’t bothered to buy another. I find other things to do. I read. I sing. I bake. I blog. And today I discovered a piece of information that may just keep me this way forever.
Nine years and counting
According to the A.C. Nielsen Co., the average American watches more than four hours of television each day. Several European countries are right up there with them. That’s 28 hours a week, or two months a year. If that average person reaches 65, he or she will have spent nine years glued to the tube. That scares me, especially when you consider there’ll be about a year of drug commercials.
Given my age and life expectancy, I’ll probably regain five years by not watching television. Yowza! That’s a nice chunk of time. I could do all the things I need to do and a whole lot of the things I want to do. I could realize my dream to turn my "To Do" list into a "Ta Da!" list.
What would five extra years do for you?
You might ask, "What’s this got to do with emotionally intelligent communication?" Maybe nothing. Or maybe it’s a reminder that life provides us with just so much time to be the creative and amazing creatures we were born to be. When our focus is on the tube – even good programming – we miss the opportunity to engage with the world, with ourselves, or with the moment.
On my first day at the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation, my boss (a wise producer named Trina McQueen) said that what sets TV apart from other media is its ability show emotion. Twenty-five years later, while I know she was correct at the time, I don’t believe TV does that job responsibly. It uses emotion in contrived and inauthentic ways. News has become "infotainment." Scheming, squabbling and just plain ignorance pass for "reality TV." Opinion poses as truth. Leadership is judged by the quality of "sound bites." And our view of the world is framed by CNN.
As a TV writer, I used to encourage people to demand better – from the networks, sponsors, and producers. Today, I encourage you to take back your time. You’ve got more intelligent things to do with all those years.
